For the first time in many, many weeks, maybe even months, I am sitting at my writing desk inspired to write. We have a wonderfully large window in our living room that faces our front yard, which is recovering nicely from the drought and is a joy to look upon again. It has been my habit to rise early, open the curtains to the still dark world and spend sweet time with Jesus in prayer and study of His Word. When God gave me the word restored for this year I thought it would be an easy journey of healing. What I haven’t shared is a few weeks after I received restored God also told me, “Your life is about to change.” I didn’t realize the deep struggle emotionally, spiritually and physically restoration would be. But I can’t say I was unprepared because God did tell me things were about to change. It is akin to pregnancy. Hopefully the time leading up to labor is delightful and expectant and then labor happens and it can be long, intense and painful right before new birth. I have been praying for healing for a few years and simply because it has been harder than anything I have ever done, I don’t want to miss God’s answer to my prayers. I am learning to trust the process, to seek God and not rely on my own understanding and above all thank and praise Him.
A few weeks ago during worship at church Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and I sensed something wonderful was about to happen when Fall began. Yesterday was the first day of my favorite season, (I wish it could be Fall all year long!) and this morning I sit at my desk overwhelmed by Who He Is and his amazing grace.
I want so badly just to finally get well
But I don’t want a quick fix and emotional self
I will be honest with my humanity
No I’m not perfect and I don’t pretend to be. We Are Messengers.
I point to Him.